2013 Summer Death Race By the Numbers
Wood chopped: less than usual
Participants registered: 390 Participants that started the race: 206 Finishers: 41 Finishers that received all 8 chips as of 6am Monday morning ("first wave finishers"): 21 Female finishers: 4
Total time to finish: 69 hours (9am Friday to 6am Monday) Number of barb wire scratches on my arms: 14 Number of barb wire scratches on my face: 2 Rock team number: 8 Number of chips I received: 8 Tears shed out of frustration: ZERO Times cried out of joy: 1 Miles swam: 2 Legal advice given out re: avoiding a speeding ticket: 1 Coconut waters consumed: 3 (I'm smart here, people)
Not this kid again
Hours spent with Sedlak: too many Buckets of gravel carried: 11 PB&J sandwiches eaten: 4 Number of times I responded to questions with a Robin Thicke song lyric: 14 Pairs of Speedcross used: 3 Near accidents with slabs of granite: 4 Cartwheels performed: 100 Times I got 100% Deet in my mouth: at least a dozen Inches across of underarm chafe: 3 Red Bulls consumed: 4 (gross) 5hr energy consumed: 3 (even worse) Push presses performed with lead railings: 50-55 Times I beat the dealer: 1 Johnny Waite hugs: 2 Number of points in the Bones Dice Game: up to 10,000 Bottles of eyewash used: 2 Saplings felled: 8 Webbing straps that broke: 5
Rocks carried over Bloodroot: 1
Ax covers lost: 1 General Store sandwiches consumed: 3 Estimated number of pounds those granite rocks weighed: 300-500 Number of burpees given to me by Joe's kid: 5,000 Number of those I did: 20 Strange rashes that have developed since: 3 Percentage of time spent smiling: 85 Dollars offered as a bribe for a winning card on the barb wire crawl: 10 Minutes it took to regain motor control after the reservoir swim: 35 Times I told Joe I was quitting: 1 Tasks left when I told him that: 1 Hours spent on Bloodroot: 10 Mosquito bites counted: 37 Number of those in my scalp: 14 Naps took in the bikram studio hammock post-race: 1
Naps taken postrace and before I started drafting a motion: 1
Times uttered "I'm never coming back": ad infinitum Death Race finishes: 3